Incapability

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The real challenge comes when one is alone.

My momentum seems to pause during my stay in Shenzhen. Because I live in a hotel by myself, far from my family without others.

The bad habits all come. I try to fight back, but I lose. I start to stay up late playing cellphone games, till 3 a.m. in some days.

When I come back to Beijing, the reborn bad habits continues. I forget what’s the most important. I lose the focus. I have not enough willingness and power to make it a quick stop.

I feel sad and bad. Low mood. Low productivity.

I feel sleepy in the day, and don’t want to sleep without any work result or progress at night.

But I can’t go back to the state of working, even I force myself to do it.

I’m overwhelmed by the sense of incapability.