Adolescence
Adolescence
Parents are often upset when their children praise the homes of their friends and regard it as a slur on their own cooking, or cleaning, or furniture, and often are foolish enough to let the adolescents see that they are annoyed.
- be foolish enough to let … see that…
- be often upset when …
- regard it as a slur on
They may even accuse them of disloyalty, or make some spiteful remark about the friends’ parents. Such a loss of dignity and descent into childish behavior on the part of the adults shocks the adolescents, and makes them resolve that in future they will not talk to their parents about the places or people they visit.
make some spiteful remark about a loss of dignity and descent into childish behavior on the part of make them resolve that talk to … about …
Before very long the parents will be complaining that the child is so secretive and never tells them anything, but they seldom realize that they have brought this on themselves.
before very long bring this on themselves. tell … anything/something. seldom realize …
Disillusionment with the parents, however good and adequate they may be both as parents and as individuals, is to some degree inevitable. Most children have such a high ideal of their parents, unless the parents themselves have been unsatisfactory, that it can hardly hope to stand up to a realistic evaluation.
disillusionment with … to some degree inevitable stand up to a realistic evaluation a high ideal of
Parents would be greatly surprised and deeply touched if they realized how much belief their children usually have in their character and infallibility, and how much this faith means to a child.
be greatly surprised and deeply touched if they realized … belief in character and infallibility
If parents were prepared for this adolescent reaction, and realized that it was a sign that the child was growing up and developing valuable powers of observation and independent judgement, they would not be so hurt, and therefore would not drive the child into opposition by resenting and resisting it.
a sign that … growing up and developing valuable powers of observation and independent judgement drive … into opposition by …
The adolescent, with his passion for sincerity, always respects a parent who admits that he is wrong, or ignorant, or even that he has been unfair or unjust. What the child cannot forgive is the parent’s refusal to admit these charges if the child knows them to be true.
refusal to admit these charges
Victorian parents believed that they kept their dignity by retreating behind an unreasoning authoritarian attitude; in fact they did nothing of the kind, but the children were then too cowed to let them know how they really felt.
keep dignity by retreating behind an unreasoning authoritarian attitude do nothing of this kind too cowed to let them know
Today we tend to go to the other extreme, but on the whole this is a healthier attitude both for the child and the parent. It is always wiser and safer to face up to reality, however painful it may be at the moment.
go to the other extreme on the whole face up to reality at the moment